Well, it looks like I am starting to feel somewhat at home in my little studio apartment. My fellow tenants are thought provoking in many ways; I try to understand and make contact in a pleasing manner. There are a lot of young black people here, and I love their exuberance and joy. I am on the verge of making a new friend or two. That would be nice, as most of the people I used to see and talk to are out of my life for the long haul.
I’ve been hurt a lot and I am healing. My struggle has to be looked at as an opportunity for new experience and new understanding. I still struggle with panic attacks, but I am learning to pull myself back to solid ground when I feel like I am falling. My heart is still very sore and life is not expected to be easy. Now that I have disability income and a subsidized apartment I have slack in which to contemplate, create, and find a new way to be.
This is not going to be easy, but I never have sought the easy way in any part of my life.